January 27

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A Lesson Learned

By weareone

January 27, 2022

In love

There’s a difference between love and being in love. In this case, I’m talking about a partner (or a someone you want to become your partner).

Love (usually) develops over time, takes effort, causes highs and lows, and is certainly more than a feeling. It’s a deep-rooted caring for someone. It’s when you wake up next to that person after being together for many years, and just feel happy, feel at home.

Being in love, on the other hand – and people will disagree with me here – is like a drug. This is not just me saying it, but many scientific articles and studies have been published, where it was shown that being in love has almost the same effects as cocaine. Being in love causes the brain to release the same hormones that would be released by the aforementioned stimulant drug. So, in a way, being in love is purely chemical and (unfortunately) not something that can be controlled.

From my experience, there have only been a few times where I was so utterly in love that it took me nearly years to get over after it hadn’t worked out. The intensity I’m describing here is, for lack of a better word, crazy! Yes, we all either know or have heard of symptoms, such as heart pounding, getting a little nervous, but my god, there is absolutely nothing more intense than being struck by love, or rather, hormones. From my experience, nothing else comes even close! I mean, wow! Sleepless nights, no distraction, and an energy pumping through your body 24/7 like a nuclear reactor.

And just like cocaine (not that I’ve ever had any), it can get you the highest highs and the lowest lows. And both will come one way or another. And when that low comes, better watch out, because it will feel as though it’s going to destroy you. It won’t, and you’ll get over it eventually, but it will feel like a never-ending nightmare!

So what have I learned from it and what advice can I give you?

Don’t rush in! These chemicals in your brain causes it to malfunction. It stops your judgment – not just of the other person, but of the whole situation. Take your time, take a step back, evaluate the situation. Yes, let your feelings guide you, but not your hormones. If you take your time and do some soul searching, does it feel right? This is not to say you shouldn’t go for it, even if you have doubts when you consult the rational thinking part of your brain (if you’re actually able to still activate once the hormones have taken over). You probably should give it a go, but just take it a little slow.

Is there something wrong with rushing in and just going for it? No, of course not. Just be prepared to face the consequences once things don’t work out as you thought they should have… 

weareone

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